


Lay with me (lie to me)

by Bill_Longbow



Series: Please pretend I'm the only one [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky goes by James, Cliffhangers, Domestic Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fic would be a lot shorter if they hugged it out in chapter 1, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, POV Alternating, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Tony Stark, Pining, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: “You'd better see for yourself,” FRIDAY said as she threw up several articles. When Tony dared to peek a look he groaned. Laughing back at him was his own face as he seemed to hug a smug looking Barnes, topped by the header “Secret affair revealed?” There were more pictures, of them walking together through the ballroom, the two of them close together and staring out into the garden. The headlines weren’t any better. “Lovebirds seeking some alone time?” “Two sides of the war: modern Romeo and Juliet?’ And Tony's favourite: “True reason for Avengers’ fall out: Iron Man stole Cap's love interest!”When Tony saves James from being harassed during their welcome home gala, the press smells a scoop. Instead of being outraged, the general public reacts overwhelmingly positive to the news, so much so they decide to play along for the time being. But how do you tell the man you orphaned that you might actually like him? Why would James play along for any reason other than feeling in debt? And how are they supposed to mend bridges and be a team again when Steve is so angry all the time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fancy_Dragonqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancy_Dragonqueen/gifts).



> This work has been a long time in production, real life and writing do not combine well unfortunately. I want to thank all the wonderful people who have supported me through all my whining and sobbing.
> 
> First of all of course my artist, [Fancy Dragonqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancy_Dragonqueen), who not only created pretty art, but also steered me through some ugly plot holes. [Coconutice22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconutice22) is the best and most patient beta ever and made sure this all turned out coherent! And of course my friends [Wini](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winifred_Zachery) and [Roe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseandthorns28) who've taken the brunt of my despair and never failed to cheer me up and on.
> 
> Thank you guys!!
> 
> Comments are always welcome, hope you enjoy!

He could do this. Smile, wave, smooch. Replace the champagne with sparkling water. Give a speech, smooch some more, leave. Simple. He had done this shtick hundreds of times. He had done it dead drunk, after 70 hours of no sleep, even whilst dying, easy peasy. He adjusted his tie again and tried to flatten some of the curls at the back of his neck. Was it too late to call a hairdresser? Probably.

That he was good at it didn't mean he liked it. He hated it. Hated the fake smiles, fake reassurances. He knew the value of those better than anyone. If it was up to him he'd be elbow deep in Mark XVII innards, there seemed to be a lag in the left boot propulsor. He did _not_ want to go out and make nice with team backstab and co. But the public needed to be appeased that their heroes were on good terms again, after that shitstorm last year.

He had worked tirelessly to get the lot of them pardoned. Not because they deserved it, but because he had seen what was coming. To be honest, one of them _did_ deserve it. Barnes had been an innocent party in all of this, dragged into it against his will. Tony had never truly blamed the man for his parent's deaths, but after watching everything FRIDAY could dig up on the Winter Soldier he'd become determined to help him. St--, Cap could go suck on a ghost pepper for all he cared, but Barnes deserved better.

 He had secretly worked with Shuri and the Wakandan scientists on the design of a new arm, and he might have given them access to his BARF system. Tony had made the Kitty King swear on his sister’s life that it wouldn’t be revealed what he had done. He didn't want Barnes to feel obligated to him.

 A knock on his door. “You're not gonna get prettier by staring at yourself, Tones.”

 Tony smiled involuntarily, followed by a stab of self loathing and guilt that always accompanied his interactions with his best friend nowadays. He didn't deserve this beautiful person, but he was much too selfish to keep himself away. Even if Tony found himself playacting at being Tony Stark now for Rhodey as well. Rhodey probably didn't buy it, but he hadn't called him out on it either. Yet.

 “Coming dear,” he yelled, and was pleased by the chuckle this earned. He sighed, time to face the music. With a final brush through his hair, he turned and left his room.

  


When they arrived at the venue Rhodey was first to exit the limo to a sea of flashes going off. Standing tall again, thanks to the braces Tony built and upgraded on a near daily basis. Thinking about that made the nervousness rise again. He was okay with Sam, hard not to be after his heartfelt apology once he was stateside again. Tony wasn't ready to forgive Barton though. Sticks and stones his ass.

Steeling himself, he stood and walked onto the red carpet, press smile firmly in place. A wave here, an autograph there. A quip and a saucy wink for Everhart (he knew he would have to pay for later, but just couldn't resist) and he was inside. He was glad they already did the press conference and obligatory handshake. This meant he could largely avoid his former “teammates” and get away with it.

Rhodey was talking to some high ranking officers who seemed truly happy to see him. Tony made a beeline for the bar and ordered his non-alcoholic drink before he became too tempted to get something else. God knew he would have to restrain himself the entire night.

A commotion behind him made it clear someone of importance had arrived (unlike him, he snorted). The press was in a frenzy by the sound of it, until the large doors closed with a loud thud.

“Fri, you're with me, baby?”

“Sure thing, boss. I've got eyes everywhere and Marks XXI to XXVI are patrolling the skies.”

The soft Irish accent managed to sooth him a bit. Not as much as JARVIS... He resolutely pushed _that_ line of thought firmly into a dark corner of his mind. Well, darker.

Just smile, don't punch, just smile, don't punch. Repeating this mantra he made his way over to the newcomers. The gathered crowd, sensing a spectacle was coming, parted like he was Moses. As if. No one would have followed him to the Holy Land, that much was clear. No, that honor fell to the man in front of him. Captain America was dressed to the nines and looked quite dashing with a beard and his now longer hair all slicked back.

Tony only had eyes for the man to Cap's right however. Sergeant Barnes in the flesh. The last time they met, they were trying to maim each other. On autopilot he started the exercise that prevented him from spiralling into a panic attack. Who knew that being left defenseless in a former Hydra base would count as a trauma? He hated to admit that the therapy Rhodey had forced on him actually worked.

Barnes looked nothing like he had in Siberia. Wakanda obviously agreed with him. Gone was the gaunt look and sickly pallor. With his hair done up in a hipster bun and jaw neatly shaven he looked like a runway model. Except for the way he was clearly uncomfortable, with his shoulders hunched, his eyes darting between all possible threats, leaning slightly into Rogers. It might be the same face, but this wasn't the sergeant renowned for his lady-killing ways.

Tony took a step forward with his hand outstretched, noticing both the centenarians flinch. What the hell did they think he would do to them? Instead of rolling his eyes he raised one eyebrow. “Good to see you, Captain.” Thankfully Rogers shook his hand with the onlookers taking pictures.

“Tony.”

They quickly released each other and Tony turned to shake Barnes’ hand, who looked like he was about to be executed. “Sergeant Barnes, glad you could make it.” Barnes mumbled something incomprehensible and Tony squeezed his hand before letting go, feeling something like pity for him. Tony couldn't believe how young he looked.

The doors opened to a senator and his wife, which Tony used as an excuse to leave the super soldiers. He was not fleeing, buttering up higher ups was his job this evening. God, he missed Pepper on nights like this. He missed her all the time, but at these functions her absence throbbed like a sore thumb.

He worked the room alone, smooching and smiling until his jaw ached. He gave Romanov a tight nod when he spotted her. Sam and that ant guy received a handshake. Barton he ignored completely. He was glad Xavier hadn't approved Maximoff for active duty yet, this was about as much as he could handle tonight. Whenever the need to punch someone, or worse, get a drink, was too strong he would go over to Rhodey and his platypus would put a reassuring hand on his shoulder to ground him.

 

 

Tony kept a wary eye out for the Captain and his sidekick. Making sure to keep some distance between them. Rogers seemed to relax into his role, being used to attending galas. If he managed to keep a cool head he was actually good at this thing. Barnes, however, hunched more and more in on himself. Smiling politely when someone engaged him, but clearly uncomfortable. At some point he had split away from Rogers and Tony spotted him being assailed by a group who were arguing some point. Barnes looked ready to cry.

Cursing his inability to leave well enough alone, Tony made his way over and slid his arm around Barnes’ waist. “There you are! I've been looking for you, are you having a good time?”

Barnes stiffened in his hold, but managed a stiff nod.

One of the arguers started to speak, but Tony didn't give him the chance, speaking just a little louder. “I would like you to meet somebody, James, care to come with?”

Another nod, so Tony used the hand on Barnes’ back to steer him away. He shot the others an apologetic grin, “Sorry to steal him, you know how it is.”

“Walk like you've got a destination in mind, they will bother you less. They're like vultures, once you stop they pounce,” he whispered and quickened their pace. He grabbed two bottles of water off a tray and guided them to a balcony overlooking the garden.

“Here,” he handed Barnes a bottle and took a big gulp out of his own.

“Thanks Stark, I--”

“Tony,” he interrupted him. “Stark was my dad.” He didn't look at Barnes, staring into the dark garden instead. Beside him Barnes took a step away.

He chanced a look to the side, and saw Barnes was leaning his head on his arms on the balustrade.

“Look,” he sighed, “I don't blame you, okay? I know what they did to you, You had as much agency as a gun that's being wielded.”

Barnes didn't answer, just stood up straight and looked away.

Tony took a step closer and reached out, damn him and his weak heart. “It'll just... it will take some getting used to having you around.”

“Yeah,” Barnes sighed but didn't move away. “Thank you, Tony,” he whispered.

“Meh, you're doing me a favor, I hate these things.”

They stood in somewhat companionable silence, until Cap came to save his bestie and take him home.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony crawled out of bed at around ten, feeling every one of his 44 years. After the gala he had gone straight to the workshop, needing to hammer some of the tension away. He didn't go to bed until four in the morning and had lain awake for a long time after that. 

He made his way over to the coffee machine. “Hit me up with the news, FRIDAY.”

“Eh, boss. You might want to sit down for this.”

He groaned and leaned his forehead against the refrigerator. “Spill it.”

“You'd better see for yourself,” FRIDAY said as she threw up several articles. When he dared to peek a look he groaned again. Laughing back at him was his own face as he seemed to hug a smug looking Barnes, topped by the header “Secret affair revealed?” The photographer had gotten an extremely lucky shot, because Tony couldn't remember Barnes looking anything other than like a sad, slightly constipated puppy. There were more pictures, of them walking together through the ballroom, Tony touching Barnes’ arm on the balcony, the two of them close together and staring out into the garden. The headlines weren’t any better. “Lovebirds seeking some alone time?” “Two sides of the war: modern Romeo and Juliet?’ And Tony's favorite: “True reason for Avengers’ fall out: Iron Man stole Cap's love interest!”

 

“You've got 42 missed calls,” FRIDAY piped up. “Most are reporters wanting an exclusive. Pepper called eight times, Ross’ minions four and two calls were from Captain Rogers.”

He finally poured himself a cup of coffee and inhaled it. “Do I even want to know what the stocks are doing?”

“You'll be surprised, boss.” FRIDAY brought up the stocks. “They're up by 3.2 percent and climbing.”

Huh. He started chopping up fruit for his breakfast, mulling things over. “Be a dear and call Pepper for me, will you Fri?”

“Sure thing.”

Pepper answered on the second ring. “Tony! Do you need to tell me something?”

“I'm considering moving to Japan to become a pearl diver.”

“Tonyyyy”

“Oh, I guess you saw the news then, hi Pepper.” Rhodey came walking into the kitchen with a newspaper in his hand.  

“Hey, James.” Pepper sounded tired and Tony hated that he was still the one to make her sound like that. He sat his bowl down on the table and offered Rhodey one too.

“Are we going to sue?” Tony asked, rummaging through a drawer in search of spoons.

“Well, normally I'd say yes,” Pepper answered. Tony nodded as he took a bite. Things were never simple.

“The stocks have been steadily rising since the first picture was published, however,” Pepper continued, “this led me to do some research, and the public response is overwhelmingly positive. Popularity ratings of you both are increasing, as well as the confidence in the Avengers as a team. There are haters as well, of course. We've got the regular homophobes and cruel individuals posting hateful things. We’re reporting them to the correct authorities and the lawyers are drafting something as we speak.”

“So we don't sue the tabloids? Do we release a statement? Help me out here, Pep, I'm flying blind.”

“I would suggest we wait this day out. Unless the tide changes drastically this whole thing works at our advantage.”

“You're kidding right? If we don't release a statement right away the media will assume they're right about this affair thing.” Rhodey sounded angry and Tony shot him a thoughtful look.

“I'm not saying he should fake a relationship, just wait until tomorrow to make a statement? The stocks still haven't recovered from--”

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupted. “Ross has been spotted  _ en route _ to the compound, I thought you should know.”

Tony shot to his feet. “Thanks baby girl. His e.t.a?” FRIDAY was getting more and more comfortable taking initiative like this, he hadn't even had to ask her to monitor Ross’ movements.

“At his current speed, in about an hour.”

“Thank you, Fri, you make me proud.” He smiled at one of her cameras. “Pep, gotta go. Honeybear, don't wait up.”

He rushed outside to jump off the landing platform, being enveloped by Mark XXIX immediately, and whooped in delight.

  
  


It took him just under half an hour to get to the compound, a journey that would take at least a few hours by car. 

“Okay, where's Barnes?” He hovered just out of sight.

“Sergeant Barnes is currently in his bedroom, boss. I've highlighted it on the display for you.”

That was fortunate, he didn't want to do this with Rogers interfering. “Thank you, honey, and let's keep my visit a secret, yeah?”

“Of course. Are you going to serenade him?”

He guffawed. “This is why you're my favorite! Got any song recommendations?”

“How about _A Fool For Love_? Or maybe _Why Do Fools Fall In Love._ _What Kind Of Fool_ might be most appropriate though.”

“Yeah, yeah, thank you, I get the message. I take it you know what I'm planning?”

“Given your inability to do the sensible thing, I think I do.”

“Such sass. Next AI I'll build will admire me unconditionally.” He rounded the building and neared Barnes’ quarters.

“Wouldn't be very I that AI,” FRIDAY shot back.

“Shush you, I'm on a mission. Keep a lookout for unwanted visitors, okay?”

He retracted the faceplate as he hovered before the window and knocked. Something thudded to the ground inside and Barnes cursed. Moments later the window opened.

“St--, Tony, what the hell!”

“Can I interest you in one of our consumer products?” He was pleased to notice a corner of Barnes’ mouth lift up.

“Sorry, no solicitation at the window.” Barnes opened the window and stepped back to give Tony room to enter.

Once inside Tony stepped out of the armor and noticed he was barefooted and in his  pajamas . Oh well. He was still dressed better than he had been during the entire ‘80s.

“You're here about the news?” Barnes looked miserable, head down and arms hugging his chest, looking anywhere but at Tony. This made him forgo his usual habit to quip, deciding a more honest approach would probably be best.

“I am, yes, but probably not for the reason you think.”

This made Barnes look up. “What  _ do _ I think?”

Tony gestured at the couch, “Let's sit down?”

He sat himself down in one corner, Barnes taking the other, putting as much distance between them as possible. Okay, he was getting a little nervous, this probably was a stupid idea. He steepled his fingers to prevent them from fidgeting.

“So. I had this idea, kinda crazy actually. But no one can accuse me of acting sane all the time, comes with being a genius maybe? Though I got the added bonus of being filthy rich and therefore can get away with calling myself eccentric--”

“You're rambling.”

“Indeed, well pointed out. You're a super spy for sure. Nothing remains hidden under your gaze. Is that a spy thing? Or maybe more a sniper--”

“Tony, spit it out. You're making me jittery.” The metal plates in Barnes’ left arm opened and closed to illustrate this point.

“Yes. Okay. So. The media think we're in a relationship, yeah?” Tony asked.

Barnes shrugged, “Guess so.”

“Let's give them one!” Tony rubbed his hands in glee.

“Give them  _ what _ exactly?” Barnes was watching him through narrowed eyes.

“A fake relationship! Well, we know it's fake,” Tony gestured between them. “But they would think it's real!”

“Why?” Barnes drew the single syllable out, as if he was talking with a mad man and had to be careful.

“Because! One. It's fun to troll people, never gets old really. Two. This one's interesting for me: SI stocks are rising as we speak, apparently the public loves us. Which brings us to three. The Avengers as a group, and you in particular, weren't doing so hot in the public’s opinion. Now you might not care about what other people think, but being popular brings with it its own kind of power. It's easier for the likes of Ross to play us if the general public hates our guts. Four,” he sighed and looked at his hands where he had been counting the points on his fingers.

“This should actually be the first, but, whatever. Four is for my mom. She would've hated what's been done to you and would've encouraged me to reach out. Been thinking about how actually.… And lastly, five: we could do some good for the gay rights movement. It's better now than in your days, but there is still _a_ _lot_ of room for improvement.

“So, what do you say, wanna play gay with me?” He smiled invitingly at Barnes who looked thoughtful back.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You--” he squinted at Barnes. “Just like that?”

“Well,” Barnes smirked, “You've made an impressive case. Besides, I figured hanging out with a millionaire--”

“Billionaire, dear, I spend millions over breakfast.” Barnes rewarded him with a real smile this time.

“Fair enough. Hanging out with a billionaire probably beats being bored out of my mind here. The most fun I had was playing tag with Sam without him knowing about it.”

Tony snorted. “FRIDAY, isn't there anything here that's remotely entertaining?”

“Well, I like to randomly mess with the thermostat when someone showers. Other than that not really. Boss, the Secretary is inbound, approximately five minutes away.”

“Perfect,” he stood and held his hand out to Barnes, “Let's go brief the others shall we? And could I borrow some socks?”


	3. Chapter 3

FRIDAY had alerted the others and they were waiting for them in the conference room. On the way over Tony had cajoled him into putting an arm over his shoulder, “We need to practice, Terminator.”

It had felt awkward at first, but mostly because he had been trying to keep some space between them. After Tony had pulled him in with one arm while gesticulating wildly with the other as he talked, it had become less uncomfortable.

James had agreed on a whim. He couldn't understand why either. Maybe a bit of his former self was popping up? This seemed like the kind of gag Bucky would have liked. It was more though. There just was something magnetic about Tony, he made the world orbit around  _ him _ .

He had been fascinated by Tony from the minute they had awoken him in Wakanda with the words “We think we have a solution.” It was child’s play to find out who had designed and calibrated the reprogramming glasses (James had snorted when he saw they were actually called BARF).

What he couldn't understand was  _ why _ . He understood why Tony didn't want it public knowledge that he had helped a low life like James. But why help at all? So he did the research. He read every scrap of info available on the internet, saw every YouTube video (he had avoided watching the sex video out of courtesy, but he'd seen enough of Tony anyway and hot damn), talked to Stevie and his friends, even to T’Challa, and it all just  _ didn't make sense _ . So when Tony came to him with this harebrained scheme, he just had to say yes. It was his only hope of getting to get to the bottom of this enigma named Tony Stark.

Now that they were about to go public he got nervous though. He had no idea how Steve would react. The Steve he knew way back when would have seen the humor of it, even if he didn't exactly approve. It seemed to James that  _ this _ Steve had only been partially unfrozen. Or rather, only the Captain had emerged from the ice, leaving his Stevie on the ocean floor.

They entered the conference room to utter silence. The chattering had stopped abruptly as soon as they heard James and Tony approaching. James saw Tony put on his showman’s mask, which came complete with an insolent smirk prominent on his face. The reaction of the others was instant. Steve's face morphed from distaste into anger, Natasha raised an eyebrow, Sam rolled his eyes and Vision looked amused. Barton was absent, which James counted as good fortune, although the archer’s mood had improved after Wanda had moved into the boarding school for gifted youngsters.

“Good morning, teammates, hope you slept well after the ball?” Tony opened, obviously taking the best defense is a good offense tactic.

“What have you done, Tony?” Steve demanded as he picked up a newspaper and threw it across the table.

Beside him James felt Tony stiffen and draw himself up. Well, no better time than the presence. “He saved me from a bunch of assholes who said justice wasn't served and that I should turn myself in, Stevie.” For good measure James threw his arm over Tony's shoulders again, looking Steve in the eye.

Before anyone could argue back the door flew open and Ross stormed in. He rounded immediately on Tony. “Stark! What's the meaning of this?”

“I was asking myself the exact same question, Thaddeus,” Tony said while plopping himself down in a chair. James would rather stay standing but followed suit.

“Well, what are you sitting around for then, go fix it,” Ross told him.

Tony fixed him with a look. “Fix  _ what _ exactly?”

“This travesty of course,” Ross threw a newspaper at Tony as well.

“What?! I'll have a brand new Starkpad delivered to your office today. Unbelievable you had to make due with paper. Though you could have just ordered one online instead of flying all the way out here.”

“Tony--” Steve tried to butt in, Ross was quicker however.

“Don't you play coy with me, Stark. There will be a press conference this afternoon and you will explain the nature of your relationship with Barnes. We don't need another scandal after last year.”

“No.” Tony took James’ hand as he said this and gave him a look so gentle James' heart skipped a beat. “I will not subject James to a press conference. We will give an interview, in our own time, with a trusted reporter. Now, I'm sure you've got more important things to do than worry about defending my honor, Secretary?”

“I'm here for a meeting in fact. See that this is sorted.” With that, he left.

Tony squeezed James' hand and let go, rubbing his face. “Interacting with that sleazeball never gets pleasant.” He turned to the others. “So, any questions?”

Sam beat Stevie to the punch. “Did you have a sleepover, Terminator?” He nodded at Tony's pajama pants and wiggled his eyebrows. “Good for you, man.”

James felt his color rise, but Tony just grinned and mimed zipping his lips. “A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, Big Bird, shame on you.” James felt the blush reach all the way to his neck when Tony turned that grin to him and winked.

“But you came home with me, Buck!” Steve looked thoroughly confused.

“Look, I don't think it's any of your business what did or did not happen between Frosty and me. What  _ is _ important is that we intend to play along with the media for now, see where this,” Tony took James’ hand again, “will take us.” He placed a gentle kiss on James’ hand, the metal one at that, and James’ breath hitched. He had absolutely underestimated what this charade would entail. Too late to back out now.

“Why?” Steve sounded plaintive. “You don't even know each other for Christ's sake.” 

“Leave them alone, Steve.” Tasha gave the Captain a stern look. “This can be a good thing, this could help mend the rifts between us. We need to present a united front.”

“Bucky doesn't have to prostitute himself for that,” Steve spat out.

Tony stood up so fast his chair fell backwards, but James stilled him with a hand on his arm. “Stevie Grant Rogers, I must be getting hard of hearing, ‘cause you did not just call me a whore, did you?” He pinned his friend with his gaze and Steve had the decency to blush.

“That's not what I meant and you know it,” Steve ground out as he looked away first, his fists balled on top of the table.

“Don't think that I do actually. “I ain't got no clue what your beef is with Tony,” James continued, “but we came up with this plan together,  and the first one to bad mouth him again can pick a fight with me.” He looked around the table and was met with a nod of approval from Natasha. Sam just grinned knowingly and Steve gnashed his teeth.

“Well, it's been lovely seeing you all, but duty calls. Don't be a stranger and all that.” Tony turned on his heel and James followed him into the hallway, letting the door fall shut behind them with a loud bang.  

“The nerve of that man! I swear, it's only the serum that keeps me from strangling him sometimes.” Tony wrung his hands around an imaginary neck.

“You wouldn't be the first to try, that kid's got a knack of pissing people off. I've tried to shake some sense into him myself, once or twice.” He bumped his shoulder into Tony. “Don't know what's gotten into him though, he used to be a lot of fun as well.”

Tony looked up at him. “I'm sorry, I don't want to cause a fight between you two.” Tony shook his head and looked back up. “But  _ you  _ were awesome, Snowflake! Thanks for standing up for me like that. I'll show them, I'm gonna be the best fucking boyfriend ever, just you wait!”

Something deep within thawed and started to warm James from the inside, Tony looked so sincere as he declared this. Feeling bold he took Tony's hand again. “Yeah, well, don't count me out yet. I'll woo the shit out of you.”

Tony guffawed at this. “You think you can outdo me, gramps?”

“Don't think so, I  _ know _ so. Watch and learn,” James told him with a sage nod of his head.

“Oh, I'll watch alright,” Tony leered at him before bursting out in giggles.

They neared James' quarters again and James turned to Tony, taking the hand he was holding in both of his. “Tony, will you do me the pleasure of coming in for a coffee?”

Something flittered over Tony's face, too fast to make out, before he grinned at James. “My, you were serious about the wooing thing, weren't you? Challenge accepted, Buckybear, and I'd love to come in.”

Once inside James set out to make coffee while Tony fiddled with the armor’s helmet, muttering something about Pepper.

James was feeling weird, in a good way, he supposed. Excited. He was already thinking about suitable dates and compiling a list of questions with things he should know about Tony. He tried to think back when he had last done something solely for the fun of it, and came up blank. Must have been before he got drafted. Steve had tried his best to keep him entertained in the last months, when he had been painstakingly trying to put himself back together, but it had always felt like he had no choice, like it was part of his rehabilitation.

When he turned around he couldn't help but bark a laugh at the sight that greeted him. Tony was pacing up and down while wearing the helmet, occasionally shaking his head and waving a hand. It was utter ridiculous with the t-shirt and pajama pants underneath. Still grinning, James took two cups and the coffee pot to the table and sat down to wait Tony out.

Tony took the helmet off and grinned sheepish at James. “I forgot my phone when I jumped off the roof.” He put the helmet back on the armor and sat down across from James, who sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t think I can convince you to stop jumping off high things?” he asked. “I’d like my fake boyfriend in one piece, preferably.”

“You insult me and my tech, James, FRIDAY would never let me plummet to my death, would you, dear?”

“Of course not, boss, where’s the fun in that?” FRIDAY assured them.

“See, I’m totally safe-ish,” Tony frowned. “But I like it that you worry,” he said as he batted his ridiculously long lashes at James.

This did absolutely nothing for James, no swooping feeling in his stomach  _ at all _ . “Okay, yes,” he cleared his throat. “Let’s make some plans then.”

“Ohh, a strategist, good, that’ll be your part. I’ll do the whole wowing people on the spot.”

“You can’t just improvise the whole time, genius, we have to at least come up with some basic facts about our relationship, like how we met and what’s my favorite ice cream or something,” James scolded as he passed Tony a cup.

“Excellent strategizing there, partner. Let’s see, you strike me as a stracciatella kinda guy. Ohh, nicknames! We need cutesy nicknames as well.”

“Nah, I'll just call you my doll,” James said, deliberately using his Brooklyn twang.

Tony looked strangled and downed his coffee in one go, doing a full body shudder afterwards. “That's… what even  _ was _ that?”

James looked down into his own cup. “ It's Coffee?”

“No. Unacceptable, that's what it is.” Tony jumped up from the couch and stepped into the suit.

“I have to go, SI stuff, but I'll be back this evening?” Tony looked a little unsure suddenly. “Unless you've got plans of course, that's totally fine. But, you know, I thought we should strategize some more?”

James shot him a smile. “Tonight's fine. I'll boobytrap the fridge in the common area another time.”

“Okay then,” Tony grinned and sat on the windowsill. With a wink he closed the faceplate, turned around and shot into the sky, leaving James feeling more alone than he had in a long while.


	4. Chapter 4

“Graceful retreat, boss,” FRIDAY chirped. 

Tony didn't bother to reply as she hummed The Tale Of Sir Robin out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The meeting with Barnes had been nothing like he had expected. For one, he didn't think Barnes would play along. Hell, Tony had considered it a win if the Soldier didn't throw him out the window. Instead, Barnes had not only agreed immediately, he had upped the stakes by truly flirting. That Brooklyn accent was going straight to parts of Tony that had laid dormant for quite some time now. 

FRIDAY was still humming her song. 

“Baby girl? I'm glad you're developing humor, but you gotta learn when to stop too, okay?”

“Sorry, boss,” she sounded contrite. 

“Just tone it down a little. I know I'm a bad example, but you can't quip your way through every situation. I hope you learn to be better than me.”

“But I like you.” FRIDAY sounded sullen now. He chuckled as he marveled at how fast she was developing; but she was still so young. He loved her, but he missed JARVIS like he would a limb. 

“Glad I haven't screwed that up yet.” What did it say about him that he was best liked by beings of his own creation? They passed the rest of the journey in silence. 

 

He had Vera or Susan, or whatever the name of his current p.a. was, set up an appointment with a reporter he had worked with before and locked himself in his workshop. He had no desire to explain himself to Rhodey just yet. 

He startled when FRIDAY suddenly cut out his screens. This probably meant she had tried to get his attention for some time now. 

“Boss, there's a visitor I think you want to meet,” FRIDAY told him. 

He stood up straight and groaned at the ache in his back and shoulders, he had definitely been at it too long, he was getting too old for science benders.

“Run sequences alpha to epsilon again, will you?”

“Will do, sir.”

He stretched and turned around to squint through the glass doors. He had the whole workshop rebuilt on a different level of the tower. It had fewer windows and the whole thing was reinforced to withstand a Hulk. No one was going to hijack his suits and get away with them again.

Once he saw who was there, he did a double take. In front of the workshop Barnes, no, he should call him James now, was pacing. He was dressed in jeans that seemed to be painted on, and a dark blue button up that barely fit. Was there a special ‘too small clothing for super soldiers’ mail order company he didn't know about?

Tony rubbed his face, he had hoped to have some time before meeting James again, and he still hadn't talked to Rhodey yet. Oh well, there was nothing for it. 

FRIDAY had probably alerted James that Tony was done, because he stopped pacing and stood in front of the door with his hands behind his back. 

“Hey there, Sugarplum, couldn't wait to see me again, could you?” As soon as the doors opened, Tony grinned at James, who had the audacity to wink at him instead of answering.

“I thought I'd treat my fake boyfriend to dinner,” James said smoothly and conjured a bunch of flowers from behind his back that he offered Tony with a smile. 

Tony was touched, no one ever treated the billionaire to anything, that stood to reason. Only Rhodey bought him goofy stuff, and brought back souvenirs when he was stationed overseas. 

He tried to hide this with bluster. He took the flowers with a little bow and sniffed them in exaggerated fashion. “My, you sure know how to charm a man, sergeant.” Tony put his arm through James'. “Tell me, do I need to dress up where we're going?”

“You're always pretty to me, doll, but I think without the serum I would be gray three weeks into this relationship,” James said while looking pointedly at Tony's bare feet. 

“What? I didn't even solder today.” Tony hid his face in the bouquet. James was good at this flirting thing. Tony hadn't taken into account that this could affect him. But apparently being called pretty and shown concern for were all that it took to pierce through his carefully constructed armor and do things to Tony. 

“You solder without proper protection?” James asked incredulous, while steering them to the elevator. 

Inside, Tony just shrugged and removed his arm from James, clutching the flowers with both hands. 

The ride down was awkward, and they both tried to look anywhere except at each other in the mirrored doors, until they caught each other's gaze anyway and burst out grinning. He really had a nice smile, Tony thought and immediately admonished himself. Don't get attached, they never fail to leave. He quickly looked away again. 

The elevator stopped at one of the unused residential floors. The tower had been under attack too many times to be considered a good place to live anymore, even if it was in the heart of Manhattan. Tony considered refurbishing the floors, but into what he didn't know yet. 

James winked at one of the cameras and FRIDAY opened the door to the first apartment for them.

Tony frowned and muttered “traitor” under his breath.

“Hey, don't be mad at the lady, I can be very persuasive,” James said, his voice dropping an octave on the last words. Tony was so screwed. 

James guided him with a hand on his back to the kitchen/dining room, where the table was set out simple but elegant, and the sideboard was laden with takeout of various origins. “Didn't know whatcha fancied, so I ordered a few different things FRIDAY knew you liked.” He suddenly looked unsure. “I didn't… ‘s this okay?”

Tony was struck again by how young the man looked. Nothing of the most feared assassin of all time remained in his stance as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, looking at Tony through the curtain of his hair. 

“This is perfect, Snowflake,” he assured him with a bright smile. “So far you're beating me in boyfriending by a mile!”

Relieved, James' shoulders dropped to their normal height and he hurried to the table to pull Tony's chair out. 

“Seriously, James, you put me to shame. I'll never be able to out-boyfriend you at this rate,” Tony said when he sat down. 

“Told ya not to count me out,” James retorted while he busied himself with putting the flowers in a vase and bringing takeout containers over to the table. This gave Tony the opportunity to study him. Everything about James so far had been a surprise, a pleasant one at that. He was nothing like his ancient bestie, and Tony would be lying if he said he didn't find him attractive. 

He smirked at James when he looked over, making the other duck his head, which was frankly adorable. It was good to know the other was as awkward at this fake dating thing as Tony, for all his ‘40s charm. 

“Come sit down, Frosty, the table is as full as it's gonna get,” Tony invited James with a hand gesture. He started opening containers and ladled food onto his plate, but James went to the fridge to retrieve two alcohol free beers. 

“I noticed you didn't drink at all yesterday,” James said as he finally sat down as well. 

Tony was surprised, he didn't think James had been paying any attention to him before his ‘rescue’.

“Thank you, that's very thoughtful.” Tony took a big gulp. “So, Fake Boyfriend, what's our origin story?” Tony took a bite of the chow mein and moaned, so good. 

“Well,” James took a big bite out of a cheeseburger, chewing thoughtfully. “It shouldn't be too big of a lie,” he continued after swallowing. He took another bite and narrowed his eyes at Tony, seeming to mull something over. Contrary to popular belief, Tony was capable of silence, so he took another bite himself, content to wait the other out. 

“We could say we got to know each other when you helped me with the BARF procedure once I got stateside?” James poured extra sauce on his burger, hiding behind his hair. 

It was years of dealing with the media, politicians, and businessmen that made it possible for him to remain outwardly calm. “We could,” he said haltingly. “So, you know?” he asked looking at his plate, disappointment rising high in his chest. 

“Yeah,” James admitted, equally interested in his plate. 

There it was, the true reason why James had agreed to this crazy plan: he felt like he was in debt to Tony. Suddenly the lengths to which he had gone tonight made a lot more sense. Tony had started to think James might've been enjoying himself, and was glad this came to light now, before he believed James could actually like him for him. He scoffed at himself, such a fool. Not 24 hours ago James had flinched when he offered him his hand, this flirting couldn't possibly be more than an act. It made the whole charade easier in a way, he supposed, if it was nothing more than that, an act.

“Does Cap know?” he asked while pushing his food around. 

“No, I didn't tell anyone. T’Challa doesn't even know I know.” James took a sip from his drink. “Natasha might suspect.”

Sure, leave it to Romanov to stick her nose where it didn't belong. Tony shook off his disappointment and steeled himself. 

“Okay, Terminator, let's go with this then.”


	5. Chapter 5

He knew it was a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. The good atmosphere made way to a sudden coldness, with Tony refusing to look at him. 

James had wrecked his brain for a suitable way for them to have met, much less gotten to know each other well enough to fall in love, and this was the only thing that sprang to mind. They wouldn't have met before Steve went on that rampage, and there was no way Tony could have visited him in Wakanda without anyone knowing about it. James still used the BARF glasses, to help him with the nightly terrors and flashbacks that kept on plaguing him. It wasn't a far stretch that Tony could help him with the setup.

He couldn't deny he was disappointed by Tony's reaction to the revelation. It had felt as if they maybe could grow to share some sort of camaraderie. Clearly he was wrong, obviously the sole reason for this whole act was wrangling power away from Ross. Tony wasn't interested in him. It didn't abate James’ curiosity though. What kind of person could pretend to love his parents’ killer, in order to gain some sort of advantage?

So he nodded tightly. “I eh… I wanted to thank you. For that… For saving me from--”

“Meh, don't worry about it,” Tony waved with a napkin. “Water under the bridge. Glad it worked.” He tipped his chair back a little and removed some food from between his teeth. “So you gave me a call for help? I sneaked into your bedroom one day? What are we telling them?”

Tony looked straight at him, one eyebrow raised -- only, it wasn't really Tony. This was obnoxious businessman Stark, keeping others on their toes by being as annoying as possible. James liked the easily flustered version of before a lot better. But two could play this game, if Tony wanted their alone time to be fake too, so be it. Acting had always come easily to him anyway.

“I like the sound of that sneaking part, it's closest to the truth since you barged into my bedroom only this morning,” James smirked.

Tony nodded. “I couldn't stand the idea of my poor tech being manhandled by an obvious brute like yourself, so I came over to assist. Sounds about right.” His eyes lit up in mischief. “You agreed to my help because you immediately fell for my roguish charm.”

“Sure, if you want to tell the public that,” James winked at him. “You were surprised by the sensitive soul inside this ‘obvious brute’,” he continued, waving his hand over his own body. “And just had to come back for seconds and thirds.”

“That's established then.” Tony started eating again. Some of his good humor of before returned, for which James was glad.

“We need some anecdotes as well. Some cheesy, cutesy stuff,” Tony said after a couple of bites.

“Well, of course I lure you out of your work for dinners and neck massages.” James wiggled his fingers and noticed how Tony's gaze lingered on the metal one. “And do you remember how Stevie nearly walked in on us one time and you hid beneath my bed until he had to go take a leak?”

“Boy, do I? Had a nasty cough because of the dust for days,” Tony chuckled. “I liked how we snuck out of the tower to picnic in a park nearby and you brought me my favorite plain jelly donuts.”

“You had sugar in your beard for the rest of the afternoon,” James grinned.

“But  _ someone _ only told me this one block away from the tower.”

“I can't be very sorry since it led to our first kiss,” James smiled softly and Tony looked at him appreciating.

“I hated that I couldn't be at your trial, so I had FRIDAY hack their security and watched the whole thing from my lab.” The way Tony said this made James believe this actually was close to the truth.

Feeling bold he leaned forward on his arms. “I've been fascinated by you since the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

Tony stared back at him without blinking. “When was that then?”

“When you went up against the Winter Soldier with nothing but a gauntlet. Who is this, I thought. Must have balls the size of China.” James tried to make light of it and obviously succeeded as Tony grinned.

“If you play your cards right, you might find out, Snowflake.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows. “Speaking of which. How are you with intimacy? It would look strange if we never touched in public. Are there any hard limits?”

James leaned back in his chair. “Tony Stark, is this a very elaborate ploy to get fresh with me?”

“Aw, shoot, you're on to me,” the genius replied. “But seriously, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Let's not blow each other in public, otherwise I'm fine with touch.” This startled a laugh out of Tony and James was instantly enamored, vowing to make Tony laugh like this more often.

Tony dabbed at his mouth with the napkin. “Thank you, James, this was lovely.” He made to push his chair back.

“You're leaving already?” he asked around a bite of his third burger.

“No, but I'm done.” Tony took another sip of his beer. “How did you sneak in here? It seems every reporter of the state is camped outside.”

James just gave him a look and Tony chuckled. “Yeah, okay, fair enough.” He looked thoughtful at James, while pushing his chair back and forth on two legs. “You're okay with that aspect? My life was already a public affair well before I became Iron Man, it's only gotten worse since… There aren't many places I can go without people coming up to me.”

James shrugged and shoveled some curry on his plate. “I don't deal well with crowds, as you saw yesterday.”

“Good thing you're dating a billionaire then! Wanna go to the movies once you've finished?” Tony smiled his showman’s smile again, but there was something more now, something playful.

“Well, I dunno, is there something good showing?”

“James, I'm appalled. Are you accusing me of bad taste?”

James brushed some hair behind his ear, making sure to flex, before looking at Tony with bedroom eyes. “I think you've got excellent taste.”

When Tony giggled James felt something like hope bloom in his chest. Maybe trying to be friends wouldn't be impossible. He grinned and took a final bite.

“You got any room for dessert left, doll?” He went over to the fridge to take out the red velvet cheesecake. Tony eyed it hungrily when he put it in the table, together with some clean plates.

“Is this regular billionaire fare? Cause I don't know how you stay in shape like that.” He let his eyes roam over Tony's body.

“Says the man who just ate three cheeseburgers and enough curry to feed a small Indian village.”

“Did you know Hydra had me on this disgusting, tasteless mush? When I escaped I decided to eat  _ all the things _ ,” he said as he cut the cake in pieces.

“Hmm, I had wondered about that. You seemed a lot buffer when I went up against you than you were on that overpass with Cap.”

James looked up in surprise and then grinned. “That would have been the plum dumplings the lady across the hall insisted on feeding me every other day.”

Now it was Tony's turn to leer at him. “Must have been some dumplings.”

“Oh, they were. Firm on the outside, sweet and sticky on the inside.” James licked at his spoon suggestively and saw Tony follow the motion before the engineer ducked his face towards his plate and cleared his throat.

“Excellent. Sound good, those eh… those  dumplings. Healthy even, with the… with the… plums... Healthy fruits.” He quickly shoved a piece of cake in his mouth, probably to stop it from moving by itself.

James decided to spare the other, and they ate the rest of the cake in silence. Afterwards James insisted on washing up, to which Tony protested loudly, but he helped eventually.

James felt less awkward on the elevator ride back up than before. He and Tony seemed to have this natural connection that he only shared with Steve nowadays. He seemed to forget that this relationship didn't mean anything as soon as Tony talked to him.

When the elevator stopped at the ‘fun floor’, as Tony dubbed it, they were heatedly discussing which Star Wars movie was best. (The first one that was actually the fourth, without a doubt, but it was hilarious to rile Tony up by pretending to like episode one.)

It didn't feel weird to accidentally bump legs with Tony when they finally sat in his theater. It felt natural to elbow Tony in the side in a futile attempt to make him stop the running commentary. It was kinda nice even, to sometimes brush against each other's hands in the popcorn tub.

When Tony finally walked him to a guest bedroom on his private floor it really felt like they had been on an actual date. Before things could get awkward, like goodbyes always were at first dates, Tony punched him in the shoulder. 

“You're okay, Elsa,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“You're not so bad yourself, sweet thing,” James replied with a wink.

“Yes, well. Maybe see you over breakfast? Kitchen’s next to the living area we walked through.” With that he turned around and walked back the way they came.

Janes quickly went into the room so he didn't have to watch Tony's swagger. Inside he leaned against the door. This was going to be harder than he thought.


	6. Chapter 6

He woke up to the smell of... bacon?

“Fri, did you order me something?”

Sometimes FRIDAY took his mutterings quite serious, especially if it had to do with a craving he mentioned. They still had dozens of bottles of a specific kind of maple syrup she overheard him and Rhodey lament they couldn't buy anymore.

“Good morning boss! What do you mean?” Friday chirped.

“Nevermind,” he mumbled. Probably Rhodey then, his honeybear had the habit to eat healthy in the mornings, but maybe he was feeling festive.

He rolled to his feet to shrug into the old bathrobe he owned since MIT and shuffled his way bleary eyed to the kitchen. He tried to keep a healthier schedule, but yesterday after-- James! He hurried to the kitchen and when he got there it was to the sight of Rhodey looking down at James (a feat considering they were of even height), scowling menacingly.

“Morning Jameses. James squared. Horde of Jameses. Can you speak of a horde when it's only two? A herd? A flock? What are you?” He casually pushed Rhodey to the side as he reached for a coffee cup and installed himself in between the two, putting a hand on James' shoulder, looking up at Rhodey. “I didn't interrupt anything, did I?”

Rhodey didn’t move an inch, stubborn bastard that he was, and crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at the two of them. “I want to know what the hell you two are up to, Tones.”

Tony rolled his eyes and moved towards the coffee maker to put his cup under it. “You know you don’t have to be worried about my virtue since the early eighties, Sour Patch,” he said as he watched the coffee drip.

“Maybe I’m worried about Barnes’,” Rhodey shot back, still sounding pissed. Tony’s flippancy probably didn’t help. Meanwhile James stood a bit lost against the stove, spatula twirling nervously between his two hands.

Tony stepped back to Rhodey and put a hand on his forearm. “Let’s sit down for breakfast and discuss this, yeah? You know you’re a grumpy bear before-- what time is it anyway? Fri?”

“It’s seven fifteen, boss.”

“Seven-- what the hell? Why are you old people already dressed?” He plopped himself in a chair at the breakfast bar in dramatic fashion. “Is this a James thing? Because I don’t know if I can fakedate an early riser, fair warning here.” He brought the cup to his mouth, but was interrupted in enjoying his first sip by Rhodey’s chagrined voice.

“You’re  _ actually _ going to go through with that charade?” he demanded.

Tony leveled him with a stare. “James Rupert, sit down and then we’ll talk like sensible adults. We don’t growl like angry mama bears.” It was bad when he couldn’t even make the corners of his best friend’s mouth curl up, and Tony watched Rhodey wearily as he stomped over to a chair at the far end of the bar.

“Surprise me,” he said slowly, unimpressed.

James had turned around to turn on the heat under the bacon again, shoulders tense. Tony noticed he held the left shoulder higher, and he idly wondered if it was because the new arm was a lot lighter than the old one. It might need some recalibration. “You too, James Buchanan. That bacon is about as crispy as it’s ever gonna get.”

James gave a quick nod, but busied himself first with getting plates and cutting bread before carrying it all over to the table. Rhodey studied his movements like a hawk, and Tony could almost see the gears working in his friend's head. Tony hoped it would be to James' advantage. The man clearly looked uncomfortable, but made no effort to hide it, which was a good thing. Subterfuge was one of the things Rhodey absolutely hated.

Once they all sat and had a plate of food in front of them Tony took the offensive. “Why not?” he asked, looking straight at Rhodey as he bit into the crunchy bacon. Damn that was good.

“Really? You're going with that?” Rhodey retorted, waving a piece of toast at him and taking a large bite.

Tony shrugged and kept on chewing. He still was a little unclear about the merits of this plan himself, but the date yesterday had been so  _ nice _ , and nice things were a rare commodity in his life nowadays. “Friday, what are the media and stocks doing?”

“The stocks are a stable three points higher than 48 hours ago. The media haven’t changed much, people are asking for more evidence, but seem content to speculate for now,” Friday summarized.

Tony nodded at his plate, gathering his thoughts. “So. We have a broken team.” He repressed the urge to snarl at the word team. “And a creeping creeper who creeps who is our secretary of state, and somehow manages to gather power over all enhanced beings. And suits. Now, as long as the general public is happy with this fling, as long as they are speculating and we hand them bite sized pieces of info they can chew on for a bit, they are not calling for our heads, or worse, for the likes of Ross to have control over us. We need to buy time, Rhodey, you know something’s cooking in Brussels, and we need to know what it is and how to bend it in our advantage.”

He took another sip to give Rhodey a change to let it sink in. He noticed James was only pushing the food around on his plate, deep in thought himself. When no immediate reply came from Rhodey he patted James’ arm and smiled. “Besides, I’m having fun, I’m allowed to have fun, aren’t I, Platypus?” he pouted in that way he knew annoyed his friend.

Rhodey rolled his eyes and Tony counted it as a win, he had vanquished the blank stare of disapproval at least. “I just see this whole thing blow up in your face, Tones,” Rhodey said, looking at him meaningful, and Tony knew what he meant. He got attached too easily, and look what that had brought him. He stroked over his sternum in a reflex, and was surprised when James put his hand on Tony’s other arm.

“And I’m concerned about you too, Barnes,” Rhodey continued, making them both look up in surprise. “For all intents and purposes you’re a recently released prisoner of war, you shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of bullshit. Do you have any idea what Tony’s daily life looks like? Every fart he lets go gets media coverage, and it’s not all sunshine and roses like now. How do you plan to deal with that?”

As James mulled this over Tony tried his best to eat his breakfast without fidgeting too much, and he had his fork halfway to his mouth when James finally spoke up.

“I’ve been list’ning, while in Wakanda and here. I know there’s somethin’ in the works, somethin’ big, and I ain’t wanna wait till it hits us, Colonel.” Tony put his fork down to see James look Rhodey in the eye, and he noticed the moment his honeybear was swayed.

“I wanna be where it matters, and I’m guessing that’s here.” With a shrug James resumed eating, and Rhodey sought Tony’s eye, giving him a tiny nod. It wasn’t a blessing, not by a long shot. But Rhodey had known him long enough to know a lot of his hare brained schemes actually paid off somewhere along the line, and this was his way of saying he wouldn’t interfere for the time being.

With a sigh of relief he resumed eating.


	7. Chapter 7

“Yes, Pep… No, Pep… Pepper, I… Yeah, of course I… Why the hell not? Okay, fair point, but that was one time with exceptional  circumstances…”

James let Tony’s voice drone on in the background while he nervously pulled on the sleeves of his dress shirt again. For the interview Pepper had flown in a stylist whose job it was to make him look less like a murder hobo and more like a swanky world war two vet, according to Tony. According to Melinda, who was as scarily efficient as Pepper, she didn’t have to do all that much, if he was willing to lose the scruff. She had hoisted him into a variety of outfits, finally settling on a simple dark jeans and a sky blue shirt. A hairdresser and make up artist made sure he didn’t recognize himself in the mirror anymore, with his hair a bit shorter and slicked back. The slight bit of mascara on his lashes and rouge on his cheeks made him feel like a charity girl, but maybe that made it easier to play his role. Sometimes he remembered playing this part before, back when he was still Bucky, or less often when he was known as Yasha. It shouldn’t be too hard, but somewhere along the course of the last few days a nagging feeling had taken up residence in the pit of his stomach. Something that flared to life whenever Tony stepped into the room.

He tried to hold on to the thought that this was only a ploy for Tony, that as soon as he had Ross where he wanted him, he would drop James like a ton of bricks. But it was hard when Tony flicked suds in his face smiling like an imp when James insisted on washing his dishes, or when Tony slumped against him on the couch, sleepy and soft. Tony made him feel human again, never once looking at him with pity or fear, never shying away from touching him. It took some getting used to, being touched. Casual touches like a hand on his arm during conversation or a shoulder bump when he stood in Tony’s way were foreign enough to leave his skin tingling in their wake and have him craving for more.

They had two more ‘practice dates’ that didn't feel like practice at all. There was something about Tony that was utterly disarming, which made it possible for James to relax and just… be. He found he liked who he was at the moment. No pull from the past, no Bucky, no soldat, only James, and James was free to flirt with Tony. Tony who could incorporate the most outrageous innuendo in conversation, but blushed when James called him doll or sweetheart. Who liked his first coffee of the day with milk and hated pineapple with a passion. Who’s scolding was a sign of affection. Who was so smart he invented a new cooling system for the Starktab over breakfast yesterday, but always made sure to explain things to James in a way he understood, his face lighting up when James was actually interested and asked further questions. Tony with the huge eyes, the gentle smile and the beautiful hands.

With a sigh and a final tug on his collar James let his reflection in the microwave be and turned to walk over where Tony was sitting on the couch. No use denying he had it bad for the genius, and this after only three days in his presence. Not for the first time he wondered how Steve and his teammates could’ve been so blind. Sam would probably have some sort of scientific name for him falling for the first guy that was nice to him, but James knew it was more than that. Tony ws amazing, and James would've fallen for the man under any circumstances.

When James sat down next to him Tony greeted him with a warm smile.

“I beg your pardon, miss Briones will arrive shortly,” Friday announced.

“Gotta go, Pep, Lizzy’s here. Don't worry. No, that’s not what I pay you-- Thanks Pep. Bye.”

With a careless move Tony flung his phone on the table and turned to James. “Ready? Remember, we can always call a halt, and they show us the piece before they publish it. Lizzy is a pro, she does all my interviews.”

James nodded, smiling gratefully. He was glad Tony has shooed everyone out so they could have this moment to collect themselves. The stylist would be back after the interview, together with a photographer, but for now it would be just them and the interviewer. Another example of how thoughtful Tony was.

The elevator ding announced its arrival and they both stood to greet their interviewer.

Miss Elizabeth Briones stroke an imposing figure, even if she was easily two inches shorter than James. Forty four years old she was of an age with Tony, but where Tony had this agelessness about him Elizabeth carried hers with pride, her dark hair streaked with silver.

Tony made his way to her with arms wide to embrace her in a gentle hug. “Good to see you, Lizzie,” he spoke, sounding fond.

“Always a pleasure, Mister Stark,” Elizabeth replied with an amused glint in her eye, and James decided on the spot that he liked her.

When she glanced at James Tony took her by the arm to lead her to where he stood awkwardly next to the couch. “Lizzie, this is James, my boyfriendloverpartner?” Tony grinned at him. “We haven't really decided on a tag yet.”

“Pleasure to meet you, miss,” James offered, shaking Elizabeth’s hand, whose grip was sure and strong.

“The pleasure is mine, Sergeant. Shall we address each other with our first names? I find it easier with these kind of interviews, even if my mother would smack my behind at being informal with a ninety year old,” she joked, and James huffed a laugh and nodded.

“Oh please, young Buckaroo here doesn’t have the pleasure of sore knees and bad eyesight like we do,” Tony interceded and took James’ hand as he sat down, smiling at him with such sincere warmth James’ stomach fluttered and he had to look away. He had a part to play though, so he forced himself to look back and lean in to give Tony a kiss on his cheek.

“Nothing wrong with your eyes, doll,” he smiled and sat back, enjoying how Tony’s cheeks turned a little pink. Like always Tony covered it up with bluster, smiling wide.

“Not sure if you’re complimenting me or yourself here, James, but I’ll take it.” Tony moved to sit closer to James, until their legs were touching, and he held their clasped hands on his lap. “Ready when you are, Lizzie. Pepper briefed you?”

Elizabeth gave Tony a Look that made both men chuckle as she opened her notepad and put a recording device on the table. The briefing was important. Any questions about his time with Hydra were strictly forbidden, just as questions about his framing for the bombing and the entire debacle that followed.

“Ready, gentlemen? I try to make these interviews more into a conversation, but I'll be looking at my notes once in a while. If something makes you uncomfortable, please let me know. This is about _you_ getting a chance to tell your story.” She looked at them meaningful and Tony squeezed his hand reassuringly, so James nodded. Pepper had been over this with them.

“Okay, first thing the nation is dying to know: Are you two really together?”

“No.”

Tony's answer caught James completely off guard, and it was only that Tony immediately followed it up by leaning heavier against his side and kissing the knuckles of his hand that he didn't obviously startle.

“Silly questions get silly answers, Lizzy, you know the drill,” Tony chided their interviewer with a mock frown, and she responded with a hearty laugh.

“Fair enough. So, how'd you two meet?”

And like that the interview was off. Just like Elizabeth had promised it was more like having a friend over than a real interview, and James felt himself relax into his role. Tony took the lead, recounting story after story, looking at James for details, sitting snug at his side. At some point James had slung his arm over Tony’s shoulders, and it felt so _right_ , fitting perfectly. James had increasingly more trouble focussing on the conversation instead of those points of contact. How nice would it be if he could just pull Tony a little bit closer, maybe give him a peck on the cheek. How would it be if Tony looked up at him like this and truly mean it?

James startled when he suddenly realized the others were silent. Tony looked at him with those soft wrinkles around his eyes that were only there when he was truly amused, his thumb rubbing distracting circles on James' skin, and when he looked up it was to Elizabeth smiling knowingly at him.

“Sorry, I was distracted,” he muttered.

“Can't blame you,” Elizabeth answered, “you are good together.” She politely looked away to take a sip of her water, and James turned back to look at Tony. His expression had shifted slightly, like it had shuttered, and James felt his cheeks heat. Too much, he had been staring too obvious. But then Tony’s face softened and he leaned up to kiss him, a soft brush of his lips against James’, and when he turned back to Elizabeth James thought he looked sad.

“James here looks good with anything,” Tony joked with a wink, and Elizabeth laughed, putting her notebook in her lap and continuing with the interview.

  


The interview went past in a daze. Before James knew it the stylist was back to prod them, positioning Tony in his lap for one photo, having them laugh in the kitchen for another. His favorite one was of them standing side by side at the window, overlooking the city below. It felt like them against the world, and he pulled Tony against his side almost automatically, leaning his cheek against Tony's curls.

Tony made the whole thing fun too. Making exaggerated faces at the camera, pulling James left when the stylist wanted him right, just generally playing the clown. James noted how the entire crew seemed to enjoy themselves, how Tony put everyone at ease. James could tell it was a part he played though. The stance of his shoulders was just off, and the smile never truly reached his eyes. James was amazed he could already tell these things, and even more when Tony looked at him and his eyes crinkled just so, giving him a conspiratorial wink. Yeah, James had it bad.


	8. Chapter 8

Of all the things Tony expected to happen after James accepted his proposal, domesticity wasn't one of them. Somehow James never left after the interview, and Tony didn't ask him to. Every day Tony woke up to the smell of cooking, actually looking forward to breakfast instead of his bleary eyed zombie shuffle of morning doom. He loved James’ food, which became more tasty and more elaborate every day. He liked how the kitchen was actually put to use, not just standing there as a design feature. He liked how James moved around it with ease, looking proud and pleased at their sounds of approval when they dug into that day’s creation. He loved how James and Jim were fast becoming friends as well. To Tony it had been a forgone conclusion. His platypus was the awesomest human being he knew, and James was in a league of his own, it was inevitable they would get along. 

Slowly Tony felt himself relax. The tension that was always there in the muscles of his neck and shoulders slowly dissipated. The feeling of being on constant alert lessened. Therapy had helped him immensely, before James arrived. After Siberia he finally caved to Rhodey and Pepper’s insistence, and he still saw his doctor once a week. God knew he had enough trauma to last him a lifetime. Therapy only got you so far though. Learning to trust others wasn't something you could do in an office once a week. And how ironic was it that it was his parents’ killer, the man he was in a  _ fake _ relationship with that managed to gain his trust so fully Tony had given him free access to his workshop. It was nice having James there, especially when Rhodey flew to Brussels at a request of the Security Council. Bantering together or working on projects of their own. Tony had quickly realized James was highly intelligent, hiding it behind his gruff Brooklyn accent, but quick to learn and infinitely curious. He gave him little projects to work on, supposedly to help out Tony, but actually designed to test what he could do, how creative he was in solving the riddles within the tasks. So far both Tony and James had been pleasantly surprised.

The interview had gone down well with the general public. Their pictures were front page news for days. Talk show panels poured over them, talking random nonsense as far as Tony could tell, but as long as it was positive nonsense he could live with it. There was some speculation going on about why they weren’t spotted in public yet, together with theories about the reactions of the other Avengers, but so far these hadn’t damaged the public opinion. Tony’s PR team had advised him to go outside soon, so here he was getting dressed for a casual stroll to the burger joint around the corner.

They were going incognito. Or as incognito as was possible wearing one of New York’s most recognizable faces. Tony pulled up the collar of his sweatshirt and picked up the baseball cap. He couldn’t wear his signature rose tinted glasses, so it was ordinary Ray Bans that adorned his face. 

When he stepped into the living room James was already stood ready at the elevator, in almost the same get up. The paps that were lucky to shoot them would get a nice couples’ vibe just from their clothes.

“I’ve joined you in your hobo chic look,” Tony grinned, stepping into the elevator that James held open. 

“You’re rocking the look, sweet thing,” he smiled back, and damn it if it didn’t do something to Tony, these easy compliments James doled out like sweets on Halloween. He was glad he had put on his shades already as they stood side by side in the elevator, that way he could pretend he wasn’t flustered and James’ smirk was because of something else.

They had been in each other’s company long enough for it to feel natural to put his arm through James’ as they walked out onto the street. There was this solidity to James that made him feel at ease, like he could take a punch and walk away from it. Tony recognized the same in Rhodey. Must be a military thing maybe. 

It was a lovely fall day and the streets were busier than usual around this hour. Everyone seemed in a good mood, and no one looked twice at two burly hobos walking around arm in arm. Tony felt James relax about half a block away from the tower, his shoulders lowering to their normal height as no one accosted them, and no hidden snipers took a shot at them from somewhere high. This was the moment to draw James into a conversation, earlier and he would’ve been too preoccupied. It was the same whenever he stepped into a space he hadn’t visited before, or into a familiar space but with unexpected guests. Tony supposed if these were the worst symptoms of 70 years of torture James was blessed.

“I hope you didn’t snack after breakfast, these burgers are the best in the world,” Tony boasted as they sidestepped around an elderly lady with a dog.

“Oh, big claim there, Tony, you never had old Sally’s burgers,” James grinned, instantly transforming his face. Now that was more like it, if they had to be photographed then let it be with James looking happy and handsome.

“Look, old timey claims don’t count until I’ve created a time machine for the sole purpose of checking these. I don’t think your twenties’ palette was used to the finer points of modern day burgers.”

“What, you mean fat? A good burger should be juicy, not too greasy, have this firmness to it. The bun shouldn’t be soaked and the toppings need to be crispy to be any kind of contender.”

James looked like he saw the burger of his dreams before his mind’s eye, and Tony had to admit the burger he described made his mouth water.

“You should become a food critic. Strike fear in the hearts of men because of your cutting comments, instead of, you know, your cutting.”

James laughed, and Tony was delighted James’ go to tactic in dealing with his trauma was poking fun at it too. Too bad Rogers wasn’t here to observe his besty.

“I’m taking it under advisement. Hafta admit I like the cooking a whole lot myself. Keep the old blade skills alive.” It could have been a play of light, but Tony swore James conjured a knife from nowhere, twirled it between his fingers and put it away again before Tony could even blink. He really shouldn’t find that so hot.

Having lunch with James was as nice as their previous fake dates had been, but with the complication of having to act extra in love. It wasn’t really a hardship to put his hand on James’ beautiful mechanical arm, or on the other for that matter. It felt nice sitting next to him in a booth, squeezed together from shoulder to thigh. Talking and joking came easy between them, too easy almost, and if Tony didn’t consciously remind himself that this was all fake, it felt damn real. 

Maybe it could be.

He knew he loved too easily, that his heart yearned for affection much too strong. He knew. He suffered the consequences almost daily, still. He couldn’t help it though. The way James looked at him, like he mattered, like he was actually interested in whatever Tony was talking about was intoxicating. The looks he shot Tony, those soft looks, where he pretended he didn’t when Tony caught him, those must mean something, right?


	9. Chapter 9

James could hear them arguing even before he pushed open the door from the stairwell into the common floor. He was expecting Steve later today, but apparently his friend had decided to stop by already. As soon as James opened the door the muffled voices were clear to understand. 

“Like you're so big on truths, Captain ‘sometimes my teammates don't tell me things’. How dare you,” Tony said while James silently walked to that spot where he could watch them in the reflection of the windows without being spotted himself.

"You scared me, Stark!” Steve shouted back, his fists balled in frustration. “With your infinite resources, your wealth, your genius. You're undeniably the most dangerous man I know. And I panicked, okay? I thought about what a man like you could do to a man on the run and I panicked.”

“A man like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Tony yelled, taking a step closer to Steve.    
  
“Let me finish,” Steve roared, cheeks flushed.    
  
Tony cocked his head but held his tongue. His eyes still ablaze, he clearly only stayed silent because Steve's outburst intrigued him.    
  
“I didn't know you back then, remember?” Steve wiped a frustrated hand through his hair.  “Hadn't tried to, because it seemed that embracing you meant letting go of the past and I, I wasn't ready to do that. Still aren't I guess. But then we started working together and you were  _ nice _ ! You're such a good guy, I've only ever seen you do things to help other people.” Another wipe over his face, while Steve paused, as if he had to shape his mouth to form the next words. 

“I felt so ashamed, Tony. That I would take that awful Shield report at face value and believe you to be capable of something horrible. And every day it got harder to step up to you and confess the truth.” Steve's voice was barely a whisper at the last words.

He looked up miserably at Tony, who stood watching him with an inscrutable look in his eyes, his face softer than before. It send a pang of longing through James, and he wasn't sure who for. His supposed lover or the man who finally,  _ finally _ resembled his best friend again. 

“You're the best thing this century has to offer, and I just couldn't… I couldn't ruin that, I couldn't lose another friend, I was barely holding it together as it was. The thought that you'd turn me away was… I couldn’t handle that.” Steve took another shaky breath. “So instead of telling you the truth I acted like a douche. God, how many times I’ve kicked myself for saying those things at Clint’s farm…” Steve shook his head, looking away for a second, his jaw working. At the other end of the kitchen Tony slumped down on a barstool, not looking at Steve anymore, but holding his head in his arms while he held them perched on the bar. He looked so small sitting like that, so vulnerable, and James had to bite his hand to not step out and hug him, both of them. It was so clear where Steve’s confession was leading, and James wanted to protect them both, guilt and self loathing churning in his gut. But this wasn’t about him, these men deserved to do this… To reopen the wound so it could heal properly this time, not scab over pus and dirt.

Steve took a tentative step forward after Tony sat down, speaking even more quiet than before. “Then the accords happened, and you know what a shitshow that was. It felt like a trap,  _ I felt trapped _ , and I just couldn’t believe you didn’t see it the same way. We could’ve… I think we could’ve worked things out, given time, but then Peggy died and I…” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath and then crossed the distance to Tony, reaching out a hand as if to touch, but thinking better of it, sitting down with his back against the stool next to Tony.

“I know I held onto a ghost, but it was all I had left,” Steve whispered. “She was… When she died I fell apart. I just couldn’t anymore.”

James had never heard him sound so wretched, so utterly devoid of any hope, all the fight drained out of him. Steve Rogers without a fight just wasn’t a thing, and it left James reeling where he stood eavesdropping. When Steve hunched over, putting his head between his knees Tony slid off the stool and sat next to him. Not close enough to be touching, but close enough for Steve to speak again.

“You were supposed to kill me, Tony, in that bunker. You were supposed to kill me and be done with it. You could’ve, so easily, I’ve seen what that armor can do, but you didn’t and it was… It made me so  _ angry _ , at you, at me, at the whole damn world… I should’ve died…” Steve’s voice petered out, the fabric of his pants muffled the following sob.

James cried silent tears for his friend, his Stevie, who never once let on how broken he felt, how lost. Channeling all his energy into getting James the help he needed instead, and forgoing his own. James was at a loss, he shouldn’t have heard all this, wasn’t supposed to know, but he wasn’t sure how he could pretend he didn’t, when all he wanted to do was help.

From the corner of his eye he saw movement. Tony, always one to do the unthinkable, sidled closer to Steve and pulled him into a hug, his face a complicated patchwork of emotions, but James was sure relief was one of them. He slipped away down the corridor, feeling more unsettled than he had in a long time.

  
  
  
  


James was trying, and failing, to read when Steve finally came in, looking as pristine as ever. The serum had already erased all signs of crying. In a way, it made it easier for James to act like he didn't know anything, but at the same time this was the exact reason why nobody suspected anything. Captain America always looked perfect. The physical signs you used to tell if someone was struggling never were there. No bags under his eyes, no lines of worry around his mouth. 

“Hey Buck,” Steve smiled, “you busy?” His face resembled that of the tiny punk he used to be, but now that James knew better he saw that it was just that, a resemblance of. It was clear Steve's eyes missed their sparkle, and while James had felt Steve was different from before, he was too preoccupied with his own healing to pay it too much attention. James just thought he had matured somehow, lost some of his scrappy nature. God, how he regretted that now. James was probably the only person left who knew Steve and the Captain were two very distinct beings.

“I overheard,” James croaked before he lost his nerve, and he coughed. “In the kitchen, I overheard,” he added softer, and just like that Steve’s strings seemed to be cut. He sagged, hunched in on himself. With a shaking hand he combed back his long hair and nodded, more to himself than to James.

“How much?” Steve demanded quietly, not quite meeting his eye, another very un-Steve-like thing to do.

“Enough.” It was a cowardly answer, but James really couldn’t bring himself to say this out loud, still feeling shaky and unhinged. Steve had always been his bedrock, but now he discovered he was actually made up of quicksand, the flint eroded long ago.

“Good.” Steve sat down heavily, letting himself drop onto the couch. “I’m doing better,” he said and looked down at his hand where he rubbed up and down the armrest. “But I’m not there yet.” Finally he looked up at him, and James was out of his chair and next to Steve in a heartbeat.

“Stupid punk,” he muttered as he pulled Steve into a hug, a real one, one he remembered giving Steve countless of times in the past. Even if his size didn’t fit with the memory, the  _ feel _ of it was all Stevie, and it might well be the first hug James had initiated ever since waking up from Hydra. The way Steve all but melted in his arms made him kick himself again with how blind, no, willfully ignorant, he had been. Pulling Steve closer he vowed to do better.


	10. Chapter 10

Tony didn't know what to do with Cap’s confession. He hid himself away in the workshop, refusing to see anyone. He decided to give himself 24 hours to rage and grieve and recenter himself. After Siberia he had felt so utterly betrayed, so  _ hurt _ . But he had reshaped that. He had used the force of his righteous anger to plow through the accords, to mow down his opposition. To learn now it wasn’t as simple as right versus wrong, that his teammate had been falling apart to the point where he had hoped to die...

Steve had seen through Tony's masks and guises. Even if he was too cowardly to do anything about it, he had  _ known _ . But Tony had never looked behind the Captain's countenance. Never had he suspected there to be anyone real behind the idealism and facade. He’d never stopped to look behind the disapproval and the cutting remarks. He should've recognized it, it was  _ his _ go-to tactic as well. He should've seen and listened and realized Steve really was just a guy from Brooklyn. Heavily traumatized and bereft, and not doing anywhere near as well as he projected.

_ “I was your friend too.” _

Tony now knew that wasn't true at all, and it made Tony so  _ angry _ at himself. What was it about Steve Rogers that could make his blood boil like this?

He completely demolished the suit that he wore to Siberia. It was broken beyond repair but he’d kept it as a form of… He didn't even know why he kept it, and going at it with a hammer and blowtorch was massively therapeutic.

After exactly 24 hours he came out, covered in grime and sweat, tired but somehow lighter than he’d felt in a good long time. He decided personal hygiene could wait until after he'd eaten something, his stomach did not appreciate his mental cleansing tactics, but he nearly turned around when he heard James and Cap- no,  _ Steve _ , joking in his kitchen.

With trepidation Tony stepped out of the elevator and walked through the living area to the kitchen. He had never heard either of the men laugh like this, and it made him feel a mixture of curious and jealous.

He didn’t expect them to be cooking together, moving around each other like they had been living here for years, trading jabs and utensils without hesitation. What he also didn’t expect was to be met with twin smiles and James stepping up to him to pull him in a hug, squeezing tight for a second before pulling back.

“You resurfaced just in time, doll, the cannelloni are ready to go into the oven, so you have time for a quick shower,” James said as he walked back to the counter.

“Right,” Tony replied, too surprised to move or give a more elaborate comeback.

“Hope you don’t mind me staying for lunch? Buck invited me to stay after I crashed on the couch last night,” Steve asked, looking almost shy, which was a weird look on him, and it prompted Tony into action.

“No, not at all, glad to have you,” he replied on autopilot, but the unsure look on Steve’s face remained, so he stepped up to him and squeezed his shoulder. “Really Cap, you’re welcome here.”

Looking inside, Tony felt like this was true, not just hollow words, where they had traded those for too many years. The relief on Steve's face showed he felt it too.

“Thank you, Tony,” he said with his trademark earnesty, but it was slightly ruined by the dollop of tomato sauce on his left cheek and James scolding him. “C’mon Rogers, that salad ain't gonna chop itself.” Steve's answering grin was nothing like the smiles Tony had seen in the all the years they had lived and worked together, and it further unraveled the knot in his stomach that started to come loose the moment James agreed to his harebrained scheme.

  
Lunch was nice. It was more than nice. It was weirdly perfect. Tony had expected things to be stilted and awkward between him and Steve for a long time to come. Even if they both were committed to do better this time around, there was still a shitton of history that they couldn't just sweep under the rug. But it was like his confession had made a different man resurface, and Tony found he liked this version of Steve a whole lot. Tony knew from his own therapy that this was just a little high, caused by relief probably, that the carefully blank look would soon be back, but now he would know who was behind it. 

And then there was James. Tony was almost certain something had happened between the two friends as well, when he had been holed up in his shop. Despite their flirting a shy edge had clung to every interaction Tony had with the sergeant. Tony only realized this now that it was gone. James laughed carefree at their jokes, his long legs stretched out under the table, the lines of his face imperceptibly smoothed out.

It was fascinating to watch the two interact. It was like different people had inhabited the bodies and faces of two men Tony thought he'd had a read on, a peek into the past. Even if they did their best to include him it was so clear these men needed each other to function properly. That without each other they were lost.

Tony tried his best to focus on them, this wasn't about him. He was lucky to witness this, lucky that they seemed to enjoy his company too. But in a safely tucked away part of his heart he wanted to be the one to make James look like this, relaxed and happy, and it hurt because he had really thought he did. He had thought that even if the premise was fake them getting along definitely was not. Somewhere in his old, cynic heart he had started to feel they might become more than just friends, but seeing James flower – for lack of a better he word  – he knew he was mistaken after all. How could he possibly measure up to this?

Just a friend.

And that was fine. God knew what a miracle it was they were sitting here, companionably, eating pasta and laughing about silly pranks from their youth.

It was fine.


	11. Chapter 11

And just like that Stevie seemed to have moved in as well.

“It's always cold there,” he muttered when Tony casually mentioned his surprise at his presence at breakfast third time in a row, something James hadn't dared to address yet.

It was obvious Steve talked about the compound, but James didn't know if he meant the actual temperature or rather the atmosphere. Either way he was glad to have the punk around, and he still was away a few days a week training new recruits.

After his confession and their subsequent talk something seemed to have changed fundamentally in Steve. Gone was the stern face and perpetual frown. He now allowed James to see his bad moments, where he sat unmoving, a sketchbook unseen on his lap, a thousand-yard stare aimed at nothing. He stumbled out of bed almost as often as James, drenched in sweat, dark bags under his eyes that the serum hadn’t had time to erase yet.

It almost became a thing, meeting up at night. Sometimes it was James and Steve, sometimes it was him and Tony, and on rare occasions it was all three. Friday started altering James’ nightmare routine, telling him if and which of his friends was also awake, right after stating the temperature and humidity.

Things between Steve and Tony still were tense, even if they were a heck of a lot better than before, and they only seemed to interact with James present.

Tony and him kept going on dates together. James couldn’t care less about finding the best burger. He just enjoyed being out and about with Tony. Going out with Tony was always fun, even if they were caught and had to do the obligatory autographs and selfie shots. He knew Tony was playing a part, but he did it exceptionally well. The way he casually touched James’ arm, entwined their legs under the table, grinned up at him looking over his sunglasses, teased him about his old timey tastes… It all felt so natural, so _right_. Like something James wanted for himself, and it was both getting easier and harder to play the part of fake boyfriend. Easier because they got to know each other better, knew how to make the other laugh and relax, and harder because James didn’t know how long he could keep the real affection out of his gestures.

When he came into the kitchen one morning after they went to a seaside restaurant upstate, he knew he was failing when Friday showed him the headlines.

The Daily Bugle had managed to take some candid shots of Tony offering James lobster with his fork. On the pictures only the back of Tony’s head was visible, but James was looking almost straight at the camera, smiling like a lovesick fool.

“They caught your good side, James,” Friday joked, and James huffed.

“Yeah, guess they did.” Usually he would have followed her quip with one of his own, but these pictures were like a punch in the gut. He was staring at them, wondering how Tony hadn’t picked up on it yet when Steve walked in, straight from his morning run, newspaper under his arm.

“Morning Bu-- James.” The punk still had trouble calling James by his name, but James knew he was trying. He walked around where James was leaning against the counter scrolling through the articles to get milk from the fridge.

“Your little scam is going well,” he said, his voice carefully blank after he drank straight from the carton, avoiding James’ eye as he put the milk back in the fridge.

“Stevie, we’ve been over this,” James sighed. Ever since his initial outburst in the conference room Steve had avoided the topic as much as he could. So far he’d been lucky in avoiding the paparazzi, but everyone was waiting for a statement from the Captain about how happy he was for his best friend.

Before, James had thought it was the bad blood between Steve and Tony causing him to balk against the relationship, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. On more than a few occasions he spotted Tony studying Steve, wistfulness clear on his face, until Steve looked up and he quickly looked away. James noticed Steve giving Tony the same sort of looks, and he wondered just how exactly their relationship had been before-- before he came back.

Steve held up his hands in innocence and clasped James’ shoulder on his way to the shower.

As James watched him go he noticed the stiff lines of his shoulders, his muscles tense in his close fitting shirt, both belying his friendly gesture. Guess Steve still hated it.

With another sigh James waved away the articles and started on hashbrowns.

  
  


“I don’t know how you managed to trick me into this, Rogers, where the heck are we?” Tony groused as they made their way over broken pavement along a derelict plot. James and Steve shared an amused look over Tony’s head. He should’ve seen the neighbourhood back in the day…

“Don’t worry, you’re safe with us, doll,” Bucky said and pulled Tony a bit closer against his side. Just to prove his point, not because it felt good. Steve only shook his head and quickened his pace ahead of them.

They had parked the car a block away on Steve’s insistence. He claimed they needed to be more outdoors, something about sunshine and oxygen. James hadn’t really been paying attention to what he had said, he’d been too busy playing at making faces at Tony in the rear view mirror whenever Steve wasn’t looking. It was childish but too much fun to stop. Besides, they followed his orders and were trudging through a rundown neighbourhood in search of what Steve claimed were the best burgers ever. As soon as he learned about their bet he jumped on the opportunity to share his contender.

It didn’t take too long to reach a little hole-in-the-wall diner. It was only because Steve pointed it out and held open the door that James recognized it as somewhere to eat at all, since it had no advertisement on the outside. Inside it was warm and cosy and the smells from the kitchen set his stomach growling.

“Hope the food is worth the risk of getting mugged,” Tony said as he slid into a booth across from Steve. For a second James hesitated, but then slid in besides Tony. They had an image to protect after all.

“Gotta pity the schmuck who tries,” Steve grins, and it was so much like how tiny Steve would’ve laughed that James was flooded with nostalgia. These moments where Steve was truly himself came more often now, and James felt happier for it.

“Meh, they would probably want you to put your autograph on their black eye,” Tony teased, his eyes shining with mirth.

Steve laughed and ducked his head, but looked up mischievously. Before he could answer the waitress came to take their order though.

“Hello Captain,” she said warmly, “what can I get ya today?”

“Hey Lisa, the usual, but times three?” Steve looked at them in question, and both James and Tony nodded and smiled, content to be surprised.

“Enough food for a small village coming up!” the waitress laughed and left them.

“The usual, Stevie, been holding out on us?” James teased and recognized Steve’s mulish expression as one where he would try to defend himself, so he kicked him under the table.

“Hey, keep your legs to yourself, jerk,” Steve griped, kicking Buck back.

“No footsie in diners, gents, come on, what are we, cavemen?” Tony interjected with a roll of his eyes. “Honestly, I thought pensioners enjoyed a better upbringing…”

This led to the two of them trying to outdo each other in weird and funny stories about their childhood. James had recovered his memories about a lot of the past, with thanks to the healing factor of the serum and using BARF frequently, but he was happy to hear of ones that’d been lost so far. Tony egged them on with outcries of disbelief, and even shared some stories of his own. James had rarely seen Tony this relaxed. His whole posture open, his face radiating amusement. Stevie too. James thought this might be the first time he had seen him laugh so much since meeting him again in this new age, and it made him warm inside that this was now possible. That Tony’s heart was large enough to forgive two cursed Brooklyn men and gift them a new future.

  
  
  


They were halfway through breakfast a few days later when the call to assemble came. It was only a minor villain. It should’ve been a run-of-the-mill mission. Instead it was a shitstorm from start to finish. The area was too crowded, the villain clearly mentally unstable, and just when Tony and Steve arrived at the scene one of the hostages decided to play the hero.

James could follow it all on the holographics Friday threw up for him in the living room. He could see the moment the villain decided to use his arc reactor like weapon, saw when Iron Man realized it as well and made a dive for it, almost felt the explosion as the footage from the armor's HUD went white.

Steve was shouting frantically over the comms for Tony to come in as James saw him run as fast as he could towards where the armor had fallen from the sky, the ground littered with blood and gore of the mad man that had killed himself just to hurt Tony.

James watched Steve open the faceplate, his movements deft and sure, telling James both that he did this before and that Tony despite everything never changed the design of his suits. James couldn’t see what Steve saw, as he was looking through a security camera feed, but the way his shoulders tensed was telling.

Tony was seriously hurt.

Adrenaline coursed through James’ body, making him pace to and fro as he listened and watched the different feeds.

“Friday?” He didn’t dare ask the question, didn’t dare give voice to his biggest fear, was Tony still alive? But Friday understood anyway.

“Boss is badly injured, but he’s breathing on his own. I advised Captain Rogers against opening up the armor’s body, since part of the front seems to be lodged inside… inside boss’ chest.” Friday sounded as scared as James felt and he wished the AI had a body he could hug for comfort. In the time he had been here Friday had become his friend too.

“Medics?”

“I’m corresponding with several response teams as we speak.”

James nodded at one of Friday’s cameras, not wanting to distract her further as she worked to get her boss, his fake lover, to safety.

  
  
  


James already heard the steady beep of a heart monitor before he entered the room. Friday had kept him up to date when Tony was being transported and operated on. He knew he was of no use in the medical floor so he opted to stay in the penthouse, but he was sick to his stomach with nerves. He hurried down the moment Friday told him Tony was out of surgery, but he saw he wasn’t the first one to sit vigil at Tony’s bedside.

Steve sat hunched over the side of Tony’s bed, leaning his forehead against one of Tony’s hands clasped in both of his. He was clad in an ill fitting shirt and sweats, obviously borrowed from one of the personel. He held his eyes closed tight, like he was in prayer, and he didn’t look up when James entered the room.

Unsure if he was welcome James stood awkwardly on the threshold. It was like he was interrupting a private moment between two lovers, and suddenly it clicked. Steve’s anger at the fake relationship. Their furtive glances and sad sighs. The way they both seemed more at peace now that the other was within reach again. These men had been under each other’s skin for much more than either would care to admit. This would explain why Tony hadn’t noticed James’ blatantly obvious crush: Tony hadn’t been looking at him at all.

James let himself drop into one of the uncomfortable chairs, feeling numb. Tony looked so _wrong_ in a hospital bed. Too small and too still. Steve looked up at the sound, and the split second before he schooled his features it was obvious, Steve was deeply hurt by the fear of maybe losing Tony, more than he would with any other teammate.

Steve smiled wearily at him, relieved his best friend was here to hold watch with him, and James had to smile back. Of course he had his friend’s back. It was an unfortunate moment to realise the silent communication they had always shared started to come back.

“Doctors aren’t sure he’ll pull through, Buck,” Steve whispered, sounding devastated, and James saw he was fighting to hold back tears. He had to bite the inside of his cheek himself. He didn’t know what he would do without Tony, what they would do. They were just relearning to be friends again, but James didn’t know how they could be when Tony was gone. Tony was everything. He was the axle around which they turned. It seemed impossible for him to not make it after everything--

He had to. Tony was gonna make it, and then they would help him get back onto his feet.

As James took his seat and settled down next to Steve to wait a plan formulated in the back of his mind. The recovery period could be the perfect opportunity for Steve and Tony to get closer again, to rekindle whatever it was that they had so royally destroyed before. And he would help. He could do that. He could push aside his own feelings if he got to see the other two finally happy again.

 

He could do this.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry, come yell at me in the comments! I'm already writing the follow up fic in this universe, so hopefully you won't have to wait too long for a nice threesome. But who kows what these characters get into their heads, honestly.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


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